E = MC2

Time is sooo relative. For me...right now...life is moving at the speed of ridiculousness. Audrey is getting so big and old and talking up a storm. She can give High 5's and point at objects and she can tell us she is tired and wants to take a nap. My second to last semester in school is rapidly coming to an end (thank God). I will have only one more semester and then I will be a real murse (man + nurse).

I feel like I use my time wisely but sometimes I just can't remember how wise I was. I'm sure time will slow down, in fact I know time will slow down eventually; it always does. Until then, my puerto rican self will just enjoy the ride. Bad or good, it only helps to enjoy and worship the One who gave the ride to me...

I'm Still Alive...

Yes it's true...

I have been:
Studying, Studying, Studying...Nursing School has kicked into full gear and I am barely keeping my head above water. Critical Care, most likely what I am going to go into, has been a great challenge to me in that I have basically had to teach myself out of the book because our teaching has been atrocious.

I have been learning a ton in my reading the scriptures and different books. I am still reading books by NT Wright, Brad Young, Rob Bell, Francis Chan to name a few. The next book I am going to read is a book by Phyllis Tickler about church history. I have read an excerpt and it is AMAZING...just to let you know...our church history SUCKS!!!

I have been praying and dealing with what God might be calling me to in the next season of my life. it is safe to say that it is not leading people through music. That season of my life lasted for 8 years of my life and it was fantastic but it is not me any longer. I mean I can lead people every once in a while but not as the main guy, all the time. I feel like God has given me a desire and passion to teach. I have been eating up theological books and historical content driven books that pertain to the 1st century. It's not like me...

Now I know what you're thinking, "Mike...you are training to be a nurse!" I will tell you, "You are right...I am." But ever since I started this journey of prerequisites for nursing years ago, I have also felt that nursing can be my "tent making" much like Paul. I think that pastors or "laymen" should have a skill that is tangible to the world that allows you an in so to speak. I have worked for a church for 8 years, loved it, but it is a bubble. I have seen more humanity and people in need (not just physically, 70% of people have Anxiety disorder diagnosed or not) through my school than I have seen while working for a church. Not to say that those things are not at church, because they are. However, I need to be clear in what I am saying; What I am saying is that there is more hurt outside than inside the church; there are just more people outside than inside the church period.

Well those are just some of my thoughts about the next season of life I will be entering into. I know that it is coming because I can't get my thoughts off of it...May 2, 2009 is graduation day and a lot of change will be coming my way whether I am ready or not

What Does This Mean??

Sorry I've been gone for a while...I have been studying so much crap that my brain no longer hurts but cannot feel much of anything. However, I have been keeping up with all of you on your particular blogs and they are all great stuff. Keep it up.

anyways, I love Google News. I have it on my iGoogle page to give me the latest and greatest in news. Well this article caught my eye and I don't normally do this, but I think you should read this article...I have no idea what it could mean but at least someone is admitting something. It's about the financial crisis and Allen Greenspan.

Click here for the article "Greenspan Concedes He `Found a Flaw' in His Free-Market Ideology"

I'm Going To Need Therapy

Loving the Yankees is going to give me gray hair before my time for the next few rebuilding years...

School's For Fools...

I don't live by that at all...that is just homage to my friend Josh.

My friends, after a long 4 months of summer vacation, after a long 5 years of being shaped and molded by God into making this rash decision to not become a pastor and become a nurse, I am now staring at the finish line. I can see my goal in sight. Starting tomorrow (or today, whenever you are reading this) I will be in my last year of my BSN program at California Baptist University. You have no idea how overwhelmed I am by the perspective of my graduating.

To me this ranks up there with the whole, "will I ever get married" thinking. I was on one road in my life to be a licensed pastor, going to school at CBU for a Christian Theology degree with complete financial help from my home church The Grove. Then God changed my heart and pointed me towards nursing. I never thought I would get to where I am at right now because of money, time, and not being able to get into a college...the odds were against me.

I had no money to go to college...God provided in so many ways. One major way was through the O'Neils and my wife. I made the time. Here is the kicker...most nursing prospectives apply to multiple colleges and university to hopefully get in...CBU was the only place I applied...I put all of my eggs in one basket praying that if this is what God wants me to do then I will do it but He would have to get me in to CBU. Here I am 4 years later at the end of this journey...God is amazing!

To all of those people that have prayed for me and understood why I was doing this instead of becoming a licensed pastor; and to all of those same people who have supported me through prayer and encouragement; to the O'Neils for taking care of a new couple with no money to chase after what God has set in motion; to my wife that has stood by me and drudged through the unbelievable amount of hours I put into studying and not spending time with her; to those who don't quite understand how I could leave the gift that God has given me and turn to what God has called me to be...this year is for you!!!

Can Someone Explain This To Me!

What you are viewing is a picture of a video game called Guitar Praise. It is based off of Guitar Hero. It's the same game with Christian songs...

Why...oh why do christians insist on copying and trying to make things that are "Secular" and make them "Christian." I've said it once and I will say it again; the word Christian works better as a noun not an adjective.

Aargh...I seriously have no energy to write something really witty right now about this...this sucked all of the energy out of me...

Why I Watch!!

There are many reasons why I am watching the Olympics. I just love sports; the weird ones that only come around every 4 years. Or maybe it is to see the US medal count rise higher and higher only to find myself feeling bad that we send 700+ athletes to the games and 80% of the countries that attend the Olympics have NEVER won a medal. Maybe I love to watch the underdog, the country with 3 or 4 athletes possibly get a medal like in Kayak this year. Cant forget the Dream Team or Redeem Team as it is called this year. This year I have fallen in love with Skeet, Trap, and Fencing. Fast twitch, don't blink or you will lose sports. Of course I am so glad to have seen and witnessed Michael (great name) Phelps become the greatest Olympian of all time...what the heck. But for me, the moment that I feel has eclipsed all the previously mentioned moments is the one that you all have to watch for yourselves. I don't cry much in movies or touching moments but for some reason this one almost had me.

The celebration, the moment, the medal ceremony...wow...to me this is what the Olympics are all about!

Please click this link and watch and cry!!!

Reminiscent

Now I normally don't do this, and I try not to talk about it too much but...I love reminiscing about The Overflow and the staff that was. Everything was a blessing from God from the well oiled machine it was, to my relationship I had with Trav and the freedom I had in leading the students in musical worship...what an amazing time in my life as a pastor/leader. I bring this up because E Lo found this wonderful clip of the 4 M's of camp: No Missing, No Moaning, No Messing, and No Meandering...this is The Overflow Staff at its top-tip creative shape...watch and enjoy my friends (say these last 5 words with the voice of the Dos XX guy that says "Stay thirsty my friends)

Click Here

Self Preservation

Why are christians SOOO worried about self preserving "the faith"!!! There has barely been a sunday service that hasn't gone by, with any of the churches I have been with, were the conversation comes up about how we as christians need to stick to our guns (so to speak) and that the world is going to get worse before it gets better (very Gnostic/Platonic thinking and not Jewish thinking). The world has always seem to get worse before it has gotten better. Think back to when Maritn Luther wrote his 95 Theses, I am sure that to some extent that Martin Luther thought that the world was getting worse. That the faith at that time was being challenged (he did a ton of the challenging), and that those who professed the true faith should stick together. 

I bring this up because I have been reading Isaiah again...I love this book (it's long though ;-). The first few chapters have nothing to do with the world and everything to do with those that claim allegiance to God. Now God does say to turn back to him and as Is 1:16-17 says, "Wash yourselves and be clean! Let me no longer see your evil deeds. Give up your wicked ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. help the oppressed. Defend the orphan. Fight for the rights of widows." Now this can be taken literally or figuratively. Literally: obvious; figuratively: those that are below lower class, those are who we are supposed to defend and stand up for. 

Now you are asking, "what does this have to do with Self Preservation?" Preservation comes from an old french/latin word: praeservatio which means to keep. So when you add self to the word, you could read it as to keep myself, or ourself. This is SO easy to do. But Isaiah over and over again is concerned with Self Preservation and why the nations of Israel and Judah are concerned with ways other than what the kingdom of God should be truly worried about. 

You know Peter was worried that his world was going to go to crap. He was going to lose his life. To me, if someone told me that I was going to lose my life, I would concede to the fact that my world was going to go to crap. John (whom Jesus loved) was going to live a nice long life. Peter of coursed perturbed by the fact that HE was going to die spoke up, but Jesus let him know that it wasn't for him to care about. Peter's preservation was nothing in comparison to following Christ. 

So I say to you and myself...be mindful of a self preserving mindset and continue to ask yourself as I ask myself; what concerns God is not me and me alone but all he has created. The entire Cosmos that God has spoken into existence and is sustaining is my business.

Bo Diddley

To all of my Musical and Non-Musical friends (I leave it to you to distinguish) a great pioneer in Rhythm & Blues has passed away at age 79. 

If you would like to read a great article about the man go here

Here is a a great video of what kind a music he produced for us all...enjoy

My Roommates...no...My Family

I love my roommates. Not many of you know that Holly and I have roommates. This was something we decided to do over one year ago in December of 2006. When Holly and I got married, we lived in a wonderful apartment downtown, which we loved so much. Downtown is a great place to live (I think). Yeah there are crack houses, but you actually have neighbors...can't say that about the Burbs. Well one day we decided that what if we lived with people and what if those people that we chose to live with see what our marriage and life was like, intentionally living it out, as a family of non-blood related people. And what if these "family members" began to understand that this is what Christ was talking about, all being in the family of Christ. Not just saying, "hey brother" at church, but actually having unguarded relationship with people...no place to hide. We also thought...what if this style of living helped to blow peoples perceptions of individual living; living inside an American Bubble. 

Well, we did, and we have, ever since December of 2006. When we told some of our friends, or when other people got wind of what we were going to do, they freaked. It made no sense. As a married couple we should have a house on our own. To be honest, it was received in a very counter cultural thing. When I told my friends Trav and Annette, they were pumped for us and very encouraging. One of the few that, I feel, understand what communal living is all about. 

So without further ado, let me introduce you to my fam

ily...

Bryce Hubbard:

I call Bryce, Beezy, I don't know why but I do. He loves to camp, climb, boulder, and play the Wii. He is also a drummer so we have that in common. He loves following Christ and he loves his fiance Rikki (they will be living with us when they get married). Bryce is a hard gruffed guy because of 

him being a EMT. Being an EMT has allowed him to see the, "various degrees of stupidity within our human race" as he would put it. But, even though Bryce might not specialize in the gift of grace giving, he is very intuitive and wise for his age. He can see things a certain way most people don't. I am using this picture because Bryce doesn't watch a lot of TV, but when he does this is where he sits...like a little boy...his fiance thinks it's cute.

Sara Goodwin: My Little Sis

Oh Sara...what can I say about her. Well for one she is very smart. She doesn't think so but she is very, very smart. Sara and I are in the same nursing program, in the same semester. I met her in Anatomy & Physiology and became good friends. Holly thinks that she acts like her little sister Hailey. I would have to agree. Sara loves to shop. She also loves retail therapy. She is very caring and super considerate. Always considering others before herself, oh and she is super clean. The first time we did our chores back in 2006, she had to vacuum. Well, you know how when you vacuum there are lines from vacuuming and you can see where the vacuum turns to go to the next path...well there were nothing but straight lines on the carpet, no turn marks...Sara IS a perfectionist. She is also Audrey Lane's Auntie. Sara was with us from start to finish when Holly went into labor. She loves her niece and she is more than willing to watch Audrey when we have to do stuff, or when holly and I want to go get coffee. Audrey loves Sara very much as well. She smiles whenever Sara comes close or holds her. But more than that she truly is my little sister. 

There is so much I could say about Bryce and Sara, but living with them I have learned that they are introverts and they would appreciate having their life details released to the world...ha ha ha. I will say this. Choosing to live outside our bubble has been one of the best things to happen to Holly and I. We love our family. It has allowed us to see Christ in a new light. Everyone has family, but not everyone has family. 

I Am Just A Student...

Last night, December 12, 2007, was my last and final evening with theOVERFLOW youth group at The Grove Community Church. I had so many different emotions I could not even begin to explain what I felt like. But here are some of the feelings I did recognize: Joy, Happiness, Expectation, Satisfaction, Scared, Sadness, Hope for the future, theOVERFLOW, and many more (I think I am still processing). The evening was great. theOVERFLOW made a video that showed all of my summer camp characters, most of which were not that funny. They also had students come on stage and let me know what they thought of me...it was amazing! You never know exactly how people feel about you and till they tell you. It sounds ridiculous I know but it so encouraging and encouragement is what people in paid ministry need to hear. We want to know that what we are doing works and helps change lives...according to the students of theOVERFLOW...I changed lives. That feels really good to say.

I also got to play music with and for theOVERFLOW one last time which of course made my night. My voice is still not 100% due to an injury I received while playing football but I am glad that I couldn't sing. It allowed me to listen to the students sing at the top of their lungs and just enjoy the music. I've said it once and I'll say it again...High School students sing with abandonment. They don't care who is around them or what has affected their week. You could make the argument that they don't have to raise a family (stress) or maintain a "real" job (stress) but when you boil it down, they know how to relieve their relative stress because stress is all relative. Adults can learn so much from their passion and willingness to worship their God in an undignified manner; letting lose and not holding back.

One of the best items that theOVERFLOW gave me was a picture book full of letters written by the students. Each one was very personal with little memories of things that I had forgotten about.

There is no doubt that God has exciting things ahead for Holly and I but it is the weirdest most surreal feeling, NOT being on staff at The Grove. Lord thank you so much for allowing your servant to be apart of what you are doing at theOVERFLOW.

Thinking About It

I was really perplexed as to why I am not that sad that Dan & Alyssa are leaving. I was befuddled by my mood when I knew Bill & Patty were going to be gone as well. Then it hit me by joe... distance between me and my family has never really bothered me. I am a product of a divorced family that is separated by 2000+ miles. I live in So. Cal closer to my mom's family and dad's family lives in Ohio. I get to see them every once in a while but we start right where we left off; except we get older. I guess for me, it isn't new to have my family in different parts of the country. I actually like it. Ahh don't you love it when something bothers you and then you figure it out...it adds a sense of closure to it all doesn't it.?.

Rev Rock :: AKA :: Dan Lance

I can speak in front of people. I can perform in front of people. I can preach in front of people. Today, at lunch I had many chances to tell my good friend Rev Rock what I love about him and what he means to me. Maybe I choked at the opportunity, maybe I didn't feel eloquent at the time. I do know that I don't regret not saying anything; here is why? I just feel like I will see Dan again someday and it will feel like the same. There are few friends I can say that about. The kind that you can start right where you left off. I think Dan is one of those friends; so I didn't need to make a speech about how much I am going to miss him. If anything, Holly and I have a new vacation spot. Now we have 3; Trav & Annette, Bill & Patty, and now Dan & Alyssa.

Now to make a speech about what Mr. Rock has done for me in front of 30+ people, to me, is not appropriate. But...to post, for all of bloggdom to read...now that's classic!!!

I lead musical worship. I would consider myself a good singer. I would consider myself a good guitar player. I have never had problem leading people through a song whether it was the band I was leading or a group of people singing with me. I was choir president for my high school so I would lead whole choral arrangements whenever the choir director was gone. So needless to say I have no problem with leading music and having people follow me in song. When I started leading music at The Grove I thought that it was an easy job because I can do all that I have mentioned but looking back, I was not enabling people to usher themselves into the presence of God through a common language like music.

Enter Dan Lance from, to me, Redding California. He took over the College group at VCC and brought a certain style of freedom in leading people through musical worship. I didn't like it. To me, whenever he led, his style was distracting. I didn't get why he would move away from the mic and just sing at the top of his lungs to the ceiling. It is unconventional and not conducive to leading people in musical worship. But the more he led in this way the more I understood that he was leading himself in musical worship and not just the audience. Once I understood this my ability to sing, play, and lead all came together for the glory of One. What I am saying is that because of Dan Lance, my style of leading people in music has freed me to be the music leader I am today. When I lead I do care about if people are going to get it but in the end, by the last song in the set, I am only concerned about what I am giving to God. Sure I have made my own style but the foundation I have is because of Dan Lance. The foundation I speak of is just being myself. Backing away from the mic to scream at the top of my lungs is me giving myself and acting undignified.

Dan thank you so much for showing me the truth about being caught between a song and a scream...

One Of The Hardest Nights...

10 years ago I started going to the college group at Victoria Community Church. Brian James Park was the college pastor at the time and my life with Christ truly took off at this time. 9 years ago I started leading music at the college group because Brian thought and knew that I had the talent to do so. If it wasn't for Brian's confidence in me to lead I would never have done it. 8 years ago a man named Mickey Thexton, who went to the college group, came up to me and told me that the youth pastor of VCC was looking for someone to come on staff and do music because he is a pansy that couldn't do both at the same time...ok I added that last part. Mickey said that I would have an interview with a guy named Adam McIntyre if I was interested. So I said sure I'll help out the pansy. My interview with Adam was at Riverside Brewing Company, I had a double bacon cheese burger and Adam had a Bar-B-Q Chicken Pizza. He hired me after one look into my Puerto Rican eyes. I was hired on January 26 of 2000. I have never looked back. Working with Trav Osborne, Sam Boone, Adam Mac, Dan Lance, Aaron Foor, Bill Risinger; working with this family has been the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I am so so sad.

After 8 years with theOverflow and The Grove I told theOverflow last night that as of Dec. 12th I will no longer be their "Worship" Pastor. I will be leaving theOverflow in full and not return. If I stuck around it would not be fair to the next person who takes this position. I will still be at The Grove but I will not be with theOverflow at this time. This is a hard decision but Sam and I are together on this. I don't hate Sam or theOverflow. This decision is based on my current schedule and life.

My nursing school has taken over my most sacred of days...Wednesdays. When I first started I was safe and nursing did not dare encroach on MY day. However, this last semester, and I just found out that next semester, I have had and will have class and clinicals on Wednesday. I knew this day will come but now that it is here...wow...

It was so hard to figure out how to start and tell the students last night. I still can't believe I told them. It is a surreal feeling. But...but... I can't wait to see what God will have for me. I am so excited to look forward and wait patiently on the Lord.

Life Moves In A Flash

This is a picture I took while Holly and I went up to our glorious So.Cal Mountains to visit Aaron Foor and Family. This picture is of Hailey Foor. Let me just tell you that she was the hardest "thing" to shoot with a camera I have ever come across. You see when I first meet Hailey, oh so long ago when she just arrived out of the womb, she moved slow and was a shy person when she started to walk. Noah was the ham and Hailey just laughed and looked cute. NOW...Hailey will dance for you in the middle of an Ice Cream shop on demand and will run circles around you. She will follow her big brother every where...running here and there, climbing a wall to tight rope the top of the wall...pretty much anything you can do I can do better AND STILL look cute! Back to the picture...I almost deleted that picture (I was using my friends Canon 30D...sick camera) when I felt a voice saying, "See how time and life moves like a blur." My finger was ON the delete button but as I starred directly at the view screen for what seemed like a few seconds...my life with the Foors flashed before my eyes to reveal that Yes, life moves at the speed of life which is equal to the relative memories I have and the pace of life I am living.

Which brings me to my next point...which I will blog about in another post...
Aaron is smiling cause at that very moment, if you look closely, you can see the look of satisfaction of Allison. She just blew some booty big time! Loud and Long...I can't wait for my turn...

Him A Ha Na, Him A Him A Ha Na...

Yesterday was the best day ever...at least in awhile...

5:30am
I wake up hating that I am waking up from 6 hours of sleep to get ready to go to school.

6:30am
I leave from home just before the power went out and since I am on my bike I don't have a radio to tell me any kind of news but I figured it out when I saw Arlington and Sunny Vale's light go out and every light after that on my way to CBU.

6:50am
I arrive at school to my whole class with Professor outside of our class in darkness. So I start to pray that class is canceled

7:30am
Class is canceled. Everyone leaves and is happy. I stay back to talk to my professor along with my roommate Sara just because my prof is cool.

7:35am
Lights and Power come back on...HA...the look on my teachers face was classic. It was like, "You've got to be kidding!"

9:00am I am home now so excited about going back to sleep...so I did!!

12:30pm
Holly wakes me up because everything at CBU shut down so she got sent home at 10am and now we are going to go to Oak Glenn with Sara and her BF Curtis and then we are going to a pumpkin patch to get pumpkins to carve...I've never been to a real pumpkin patch.

The rest of the day is a blur...it was sooo much fun eating good food with great people and just making a very spontaneous day out of what seemed like a gift from God. The pumpkin patch turned me into a big kid looking intently at "The One". When I finally found "The One" I started to sing "The Circle Of Life" as I lifted my pumpkin over my head to the sky like a little Simba!!! Then Holly found one...I sang for that pumpkin, Curtis found one....I sang again... him a ha na, him a him a ha na, it's the circle of life... Seriously I am a dork but every time someone picked up an orange pumpkin from the ground all I could see was Simba!!!

When we got home I looked up a pumpkin stencil because this is the year I go all out with carving.

Captin' Hook...I choose Captin' Hook to carve. Not only was I mentally prepared for the event but I came with tools that no man should be without while carving...I used a Dremel. If you don't know what a Dremel is, think of it as a mini drill with hundreds of little tools to do little things. My pumpkin is sick. It is the best pumpkin I have ever done...EVER!!!

It was just an amazing day hanging with my wife, and my family Sara and Curtis. Everyone needs a day in spontaneity.

Horizons

The Horizon has always been a fascinating object to look at. The sun rises from it and it sets from it. It always brings on a new day and it closes it the same. We can stare at a horizon for hours as if we could catch a glimpse of what is on the other side. For those of you who know me you might be asking yourself..."What the crap are you talking about Mike!" I will tell you.

I say all of this because I believe we can all agree that we can feel, we can sense, in the deepest part of our being that something in our lives is just over the horizon. We start to get that urge; that feeling of unsettledness (if that is a word) that we can sense that something is about to radically change in ones life. Well I feel that way! It is nerve racking and exciting all the same. It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside (that's from Moulin Rouge, rent it). It really has me unsettled at the moment. I am going to have a baby but I can reassure you that this is different. I am not nervous about the baby because I am too ignorant to know what I am about to get into.

What I lack is the ability to actually see over the horizon.

I really wish I could just be here instead. Here, unlike the last picture, the waters are clear to see for miles. The weather is consistant everyday of the year. The waters are inviting and calm and I can have a Mojito delivered to me whenever I want.

But where is the excitment and adventure...